What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 02:51
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
I was 9 years of age.
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
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We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
Why did lobsters evolve bright colors if they are neither poisonous nor venomous?
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
In your humble opinion, why does the narcissist mistake kindness for weakness in some people?
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
So whats the point in blame.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
I think the readers, may guess!
Why do guys have better skin than women even though women use more product?
She was in good health!
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
What are some prime examples of gibberish from the bible?
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
What are some funny and smart quotes?
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
I was seconnd youngest,
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
When does a woman know she is cumming?
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
My family never makes their pension either.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
Is it true that LGB should drop T?
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Ive learnt so much.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
My life is so biszare .
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
I don,t even have a pension.
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Was to survive, this bastard.
What did i know ?
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I said to her
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We all went to grammer schools
And who doesn’t know suffering?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
So, i spoilt her more .
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
But, we were locked up after school.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
I know ,a lot about trauma.
Put me off passion for life!!
I was very sick at this time too.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
One cannot live in the past .
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
As i do to all so called friends.?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
Why did i forgive my father ?
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
He resisted the act ,that day.
It was going to be , some day.
I was scared of men, in general
But it wasn’t much.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
Would this be the day?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
(And it was in our own minds.)
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
And i lived it daily.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He knew the spot.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I write beautiful poetry .
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
I waited trembling.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I never cut or harmed myself..
He was dying to do it , i knew.
Im still living with it.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
She loved him until the end.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My mum and dad in the seventies!
Who then, do I blame.?
She found it foreign!.
Comes on , in middle age.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Especially a lifetime of it.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I have no regrets .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I could never make a relationship work though!
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I couldn’t, believe it.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
All the time i was locked up.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
This is soul school!.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I will be 64.
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
We were not on the streets..
But ive been too sick for many years..
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
She wouldn,t have been !
She married twice! .
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
The only rule us 5 kids had .
When she asked me how she looked .
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
She died at 55 of colon cancer.